The Flying Rodent Hotel

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One of the nice things about getting married is the combined economic power. My income alone isn't all that impressive. Brian income is not either. I work as a clerical assistant for a small pharmaceutical contract manufacturer. Brian is a carpenter and while is good at what he does, it is early in his career still. We aren't struggling, but we are a long way off from the trust fund kids.

I feel better about my income when I combine it with Brian's in my head. By myself, I could not afford rent on an apartment (we live in the Philadelphia suburbs) but together, we can afford the mortgage on a fixer upper. Together, we have buying power. Together, the dream of owning a home is a bit closer to today. Hooray for combined economic power!

Part of realizing that home ownership is in the near future is realizing that you don't know jack about owning a home. I'm twenty four years old. What do I know about home repair? About find a real estate agent? About looking at property values in a good school district so that the kids we don't even have yet can have a good education? I don't know squat. The extent of my home ownership knowledge is either "ooh that looks pretty, I want it" or "ew, who in the hell would want to do that to the place where they live".

In my efforts to become a better educated potential home buyer, I spend quite a bit of time researching as much as I can. I read about annual home repair costs, property values in different townships of the county, and how large of an impact one percentage point will have on the mortgage. I read about the do's, the don't's, and the you-will-never-believe's.

Today, this lovely gem crossed my screen. http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070503/ap_on_fe_st/bat_droppings_home;_ylt=AmFQEI2NOo.S0CWW12HLFcbtiBIF

There are many places I can begin on this disaster.

1. "An upstate New York couple didn't think a few bats in the attic were much of a problem when they were buying a house last summer. "

A few bats are not a problem? Since when? I have several questions about this one. Where are the bats getting in from? What are the bats eating? Where are the bats relieving themselves? What diseases are they harboring? What other animals could be getting in as a result? Is this impacting my heating bill? And is water getting in when it rains? The list could go on and on.

2. "Nick LaBoda and Jenna Caputo say a home inspector informed them about the bats. They called an exterminator, who told them to wait a while before removing the bats because the babies were too young to fly."

Ok so the home inspector informed you about the bats. I interpret that to mean that the home inspector found this to be something worth noting. Something that should probably be dealt with prior to moving in. Essentially, the couple possessed this knowledge prior to an exchange of property, namely their money for the prior home owner's home.

At least they followed up with an exterminator. But why would an exterminator tell them to wait? Surely a reputable exterminator would recommend an initial course of action with follow up in the months to follow. And what is this about the babies being too young to fly? Isn't that a good thing? These creatures are flying rodents inside one's house. Wouldn't it be easier to round them up when they are flying in the air? Personally, I wouldn't want to wait until an age when the babies could fly. Get rid of them now!

3. "Then they forgot about the bats until they smelled a foul odor in January. When they checked the attic, they found dead bats and piles of guano."

So let's give the couple the benefit of the doubt. Maybe they were guilable and believed their shady exterminator. Maybe the exterminator came on the tale end of summer. Maybe they decided to wait a bit as recommended. But then they forgot? I know their lives were probably very busy but I can't imagine forgetting that there were FLYING RODENTS living in my house. I need to make a note that I do respect the fact that they did not need to use the additional storage that their house provided but at the same time, they were the proud owners of a FLYING RODENT HOTEL!

At least their first instinct was to check the attic....

4. "An exterminator says hundreds of bats had been living in the attic, leaving behind 3,500 pounds of droppings."

Was this the same exterminator as the first visit? Because if it was, why did he not do a follow up call in September or October? Why did he wait until after the house started to smell? Who does that? And furthermore, how do you not notice that your house contains over a ton and a half of FLYING RODENT SHIT?? Surely, it should have been smelled long before then. I can't imagine bat droppings smell like cinnamon rolls and coffee....

5. "It cost $25,000 to clean up the mess, and the couple's insurance company wouldn't cover it."

Good. I'm glad it cost them 25k to correct the problem. That will teach them to not be so stupid next time. And I'm even happier that the insurance company did not cover it. They knew when they bought the house that they also bought the FLYING RODENT HOTEL. Unless they purchased a second policy to cover their little bat hotel, why should the insurance company pay for it? That just makes premiums go up for the rest of us who aren't stupid or at least know that we need to maintain our very expensive purchases. And that takes money away from people who really do need it. For example, people whose homes have been devastated by floods, earthquakes or other natural disasters. Your own stupidity or forgetfulness does not qualify as a natural disaster.

6. "They're fighting it out in court."

I hope they lose.