One of the scariest aspects about starting a new life with someone is the financial intimacy that must ensue. We are raised with an idea: someday you will grow up, meet someone you love, get married and your own personal happily ever after will begin. We never raise our children with the idea that marriage is hard, that money might not be plentiful or that we might need to be completely honest.
The money portion is where most of the difficulty lies.
Once you become married, that's it. Any debt you acrue, at least in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania, belongs to both of you. Any money you make, well, that also belongs to both of you. Unfortunately, spending money is easier than making money. And any debt you had prior to the marriage belongs soley to the individual who acquired it.
At the moment, I feel like I am up to my eyeballs in debt. I have student loans, credit card payments, USAA auto insurance, cell phone, plus lord knows what else. It overwhelms me. It stresses me out. It makes me feel as if it is very difficult to be a good wife.
In my head, I have this feel of, if only I made more money. But I know that wouldn't really help. I would probably spend all of it. I would probably find new things that I "needed". Or things that I wanted Brian to have.
So I pray. I pray and I try to be more honest. The first step I think is prayer but a close second is being honest with myself. If I'm not honest with myself on this, how can I be honest with Brian? And with our marriage? I am trying to be open about this, about my struggles, and about what my marriage will look like.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Stolen from my Sister in Law
70 Questions I Guarantee You've Never Answered:
1. Would you chew gum after someone else already has? No, it doesn't sound appealing.
2. What describes your relationship status? Happily married for just over a week.
3. Who were your last 5 calls from? Carm, my mom, Brian, a number I don't recognize, and Farrah
4. Are You the Heartbreaker or the Broken Heart? Heartbreaker. I'm definitely a heartbreaker
5. Ever been skinny dipping? yes
6. Do you think Napoleon Dynamite is funny? I wanted my two hours back.
7. Who have you talked to most today? Brian.
8. Would you hug the last person you hugged again? yes. And I will hug him for the rest of my life
9. Color of your underwear? White.
10. Color of your shirt?Pale baby pink
11. How many years have you taken a language? 7 years of Spanish
12. Who's on speed dial Number 2? I couldn't figure out how to work my speed dial so no one. 13. What color is your background on your computer mainscreen?It is a picture from the wedding so there are lots of colors.
14. Did you wish on 11:11? No but perhaps I should
15. Good advice if you ever go camping? I have actually never gone camping but I'm supposed to go on my very first camping trip at the end of July. FYI, I'm terrified.
16. Are you a bad influence? YES.
17. What color are your eyes? Hazel.
18. Would you rather have your name or your siblings name? I don't have siblings so I better keep my name.
19. Would you do anything for someone else? Probably not.
20. Have you ever been called a bitch? Oh honey, that's a term of endearment!
21. Favorite color? This week, it is apple red
22. Do you use smiley faces on the computer? sometimes.
23. What song is on? no music at the moment.
24. Are your grades good? Depended on the class.
25. Do you ever think people hate you for filling these out? I don't care cause I only ppost these in my blog
26. Would you date anyone on your top friends? I married Brian, didn't I?
27. Does your best friend have a myspace? Yes
28. Whose page did you visit last?I think it was Meredith's
29. Last time you went out to lunch? I had brunch with Meredith on Saturday
30. Do you watch Gilmore Girls? I used to in college.
31. Who is your favorite character from Friends? Rachel
32. Have you ever seen and enjoyed the oc? Seen it, only enjoyed it for a month.
33. Do you have one or more Britney Spears CDs? Yes, now let's never mention that again.
34. Which radio stations are your favorites? 98.9 merely for the Wendy Williams Experience.
35. Are you a Lost fanatic? God no, that's a horrible waste of time.
37. Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library? Yes
38. Alanis Morissette? yes
39. Do you watch Family Guy Regularly? YES
40. King of the Hill? No
41. Do you read trashy romance novels often? Not in years
42. Favorite TV show of all time? Law and Order SVU or charmed or Grey's.
43. Do you sing obnoxiously in the car? YES I also sing better in Brian's van than I do in my Buick. And I don't think I sing very well in the camaro
44. Do you sing obnoxiously in the shower? No.
45. What's in your CD player right now? Brand New Heavies "Get Used To It"
46. Have you ever pretended your crush was with you? no
47. Did you draw pictures for your crush back in elementary? no, I wrote poems
48. Have you ever liked a girl/boy but didn't ask her/him out?yes
49. Have you ever written a poem or story about your life? Not just one poem but a series of poems
50. Have you ever spent over an hour thinking about nothing? How about nothing useful? I've definitely spent over an over doing that.
51. Have you ever liked someone solely because of their appearence? yes
52. Do you eat all the servings in the food groups on a daily basis? Not sure
53. Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization? At work i am
54. Did you ever go to South America? No
55. Do you know how to knit? No
56. Do you have a cell phone or iPod with a patterned cover? No
57. Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself? Yes
58. Do you keep a diary or journal online? Yes
59. When you open your closet, what is the dominant color? Gray.
60. Baskin Robbins or Coldstone? Coldstone. If I'm going ot have a treat, I really want a good treat.
61. Physics or chemistry? physics. It makes so much more sense to me than chemistry
62. Earphones or headphones? Headphones.
63. Pink or teal? Pink
64. Earrings or a ring? Both
65. Walk or Run? Walk
66. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars? Harry Potter but only for reading
67. Fly or road trip? Fly
68. Batman, Spiderman, or Superman?I am Batman, FYI
69. What is your favorite Disney movie? The Little Mermaid.
70. Have you ever bought clothes at Sears? Oh God No.
1. Would you chew gum after someone else already has? No, it doesn't sound appealing.
2. What describes your relationship status? Happily married for just over a week.
3. Who were your last 5 calls from? Carm, my mom, Brian, a number I don't recognize, and Farrah
4. Are You the Heartbreaker or the Broken Heart? Heartbreaker. I'm definitely a heartbreaker
5. Ever been skinny dipping? yes
6. Do you think Napoleon Dynamite is funny? I wanted my two hours back.
7. Who have you talked to most today? Brian.
8. Would you hug the last person you hugged again? yes. And I will hug him for the rest of my life
9. Color of your underwear? White.
10. Color of your shirt?Pale baby pink
11. How many years have you taken a language? 7 years of Spanish
12. Who's on speed dial Number 2? I couldn't figure out how to work my speed dial so no one. 13. What color is your background on your computer mainscreen?It is a picture from the wedding so there are lots of colors.
14. Did you wish on 11:11? No but perhaps I should
15. Good advice if you ever go camping? I have actually never gone camping but I'm supposed to go on my very first camping trip at the end of July. FYI, I'm terrified.
16. Are you a bad influence? YES.
17. What color are your eyes? Hazel.
18. Would you rather have your name or your siblings name? I don't have siblings so I better keep my name.
19. Would you do anything for someone else? Probably not.
20. Have you ever been called a bitch? Oh honey, that's a term of endearment!
21. Favorite color? This week, it is apple red
22. Do you use smiley faces on the computer? sometimes.
23. What song is on? no music at the moment.
24. Are your grades good? Depended on the class.
25. Do you ever think people hate you for filling these out? I don't care cause I only ppost these in my blog
26. Would you date anyone on your top friends? I married Brian, didn't I?
27. Does your best friend have a myspace? Yes
28. Whose page did you visit last?I think it was Meredith's
29. Last time you went out to lunch? I had brunch with Meredith on Saturday
30. Do you watch Gilmore Girls? I used to in college.
31. Who is your favorite character from Friends? Rachel
32. Have you ever seen and enjoyed the oc? Seen it, only enjoyed it for a month.
33. Do you have one or more Britney Spears CDs? Yes, now let's never mention that again.
34. Which radio stations are your favorites? 98.9 merely for the Wendy Williams Experience.
35. Are you a Lost fanatic? God no, that's a horrible waste of time.
37. Do you have a song by Ozzy Osbourne in your library? Yes
38. Alanis Morissette? yes
39. Do you watch Family Guy Regularly? YES
40. King of the Hill? No
41. Do you read trashy romance novels often? Not in years
42. Favorite TV show of all time? Law and Order SVU or charmed or Grey's.
43. Do you sing obnoxiously in the car? YES I also sing better in Brian's van than I do in my Buick. And I don't think I sing very well in the camaro
44. Do you sing obnoxiously in the shower? No.
45. What's in your CD player right now? Brand New Heavies "Get Used To It"
46. Have you ever pretended your crush was with you? no
47. Did you draw pictures for your crush back in elementary? no, I wrote poems
48. Have you ever liked a girl/boy but didn't ask her/him out?yes
49. Have you ever written a poem or story about your life? Not just one poem but a series of poems
50. Have you ever spent over an hour thinking about nothing? How about nothing useful? I've definitely spent over an over doing that.
51. Have you ever liked someone solely because of their appearence? yes
52. Do you eat all the servings in the food groups on a daily basis? Not sure
53. Are you ever a freak about cleanliness or organization? At work i am
54. Did you ever go to South America? No
55. Do you know how to knit? No
56. Do you have a cell phone or iPod with a patterned cover? No
57. Have you ever written love song lyrics yourself? Yes
58. Do you keep a diary or journal online? Yes
59. When you open your closet, what is the dominant color? Gray.
60. Baskin Robbins or Coldstone? Coldstone. If I'm going ot have a treat, I really want a good treat.
61. Physics or chemistry? physics. It makes so much more sense to me than chemistry
62. Earphones or headphones? Headphones.
63. Pink or teal? Pink
64. Earrings or a ring? Both
65. Walk or Run? Walk
66. Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars? Harry Potter but only for reading
67. Fly or road trip? Fly
68. Batman, Spiderman, or Superman?I am Batman, FYI
69. What is your favorite Disney movie? The Little Mermaid.
70. Have you ever bought clothes at Sears? Oh God No.
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