Why Working the Front Desk is More Difficult than It Seems: Part 1

The Phone Calls.

For the last week, it has been next to impossible for me to take a bathroom break at work. Clearly, lunch has then been out of the question. My boss has been out of the office (again) with chronic sinusitis which she now believes is terminal. And despite my constant reassurances that no, it is not terminal unless you take a vacation, I’m starting to believe it might kill her. Or me. Either way, it isn’t going well.

One of the downsides to work at a small company is the lack of help that can be available at times. I’m certainly not trying to imply that individuals don’t want to help each other. I’m just trying to imply that I have to bribe my coworkers with treats or prizes to help me with tasks in the office. I tried writing short notes of gratitude for a while but that had next to no impact.

So while my boss is out of the office with terminal chronic sinusitis, I don’t really get to eat or pee because there is no one who will answer the phones. I usually get plenty of promises for phone help but no follow through. And the worst feeling in the world of the administrative support staff is hearing a client’s voice on the answering machine while you are fighting to pull your control top panty hose back up.

Really the whole situation could be avoided if the president of my company was ready and willing to invest in voice mail but as our bookkeeper likes to remind us, he is penny wise and dollar poor.

A lack of phone coverage isn’t the only reason why working the phones is tough.

Telemarketers are tough. Repeat calls from telemarketers are tough. And effectively communicating with telemarketers is next to impossible.

Take the following phone call.

Perky Clerical Assistant, aka, Me: Good Afternoon, Very Specialized Pharmaceutical Company, How may help you?
Manipulative Telemarketer: Mr President please.
Me: May I ask who is calling?
Manipulative Telemarketer: John.
Me: And your last name John?
Manipulative Telemarketer: Doe
Me: And what company are you calling from?
Manipulative Telemarketer: Generic Telemarketing Group
Me: Please Hold.

At this point, I leave the telemarketer on hold for an ungodly amount of time. And I do not waste the time of Mr. President by letting him know that the manipulative telemarketer is calling for him. After all, there are at least five of these calls a day.

Me: I’m sorry, Mr. President is unavailable at the moment, may I take a message.
Manipulative Telemarketer: Can I have his voice mail?
Me: I’m sorry but we don’t have voicemail, may I take a message?
Manipulative Telemarketer: Well when can I call back? When will he be available?
Me: Mr. President is a very busy man. The best way to get in touch with him is to let me take a message.
Manipulative Telemarketer: I’ll call back.

What manipulative telemarketer doesn’t know is that I now have their name and its on my list. Haha. At least it makes the process a little swifter next time.

The other difficult caller is the overly entitled client or potential client. The world does not stop because you called us. Strangely, the world will continue to turn with or without your permission.