Brian and I wrapped up the last wedding either one of us will be in, or at least for a few years, on Sunday. Our friends Carm and Chris celebrated their new life together with 8 bridesmaids and groomsmen, 175 guests and fourteen thousand dollars that are now re-circulating in the local economy. It was a fabulous but exhausting day. Brian and I got home last night and starred blankly at the television as we rehashed the day.
We are both people watchers. Brian is a people watcher because he’s the youngest child and the only boy in his family – it was just easier for him to shut up and watch. I’m a people watcher because I’m an only child – I’m fascinated by watching sibling relationships unfold in front of me. One of my favorite things about a wedding is we can get a fix on our voyeuristic tendencies in a socially acceptable forum.
The great thing about a big wedding is there are so many opportunities to see true personality types – especially in the wedding. The following are a few of my favorites.
Matron of Honor-zilla: Bridezilla is such a popular icon in pop culture but I don’t really think it happens as frequently as it is rumored. I think it’s the Matron of Honor-zilla that bridesmaids everywhere quake at the mere thought of. This is the woman whose own wedding didn’t go quite so well – the pushy best friend of the bride. She wants everyone to know her very important role in the wedding. And she wants you to know that she is the only one who can do things for the bride. Tip: if you are a bridesmaid and you notice the Matronzilla has started to stress the bride out, cause minor disasters that only the Matron can fix. If that means ripping your dress and letting Matronzilla safety pin it to your skin, so be it. It’ll be less stress for everyone else.
The Fem Groomsman: There is always one – the not gay but not masculine friend of the Bride who just had to be in the wedding. He would probably wear a dress and get his hair done if you let him. He’s great because he dances with all the single girls. Just remember to keep laughing when he starts dancing with all the husbands.
Super Bridesmaid to the Rescue: Need her to get the wedding site at the same time as the coordinator? She’s there. Need her to help the mother of the bride get dressed? Right on top of that Rose. Need her to distract the Matronzilla? Appropriate disaster on the way! Her husband is her minion for whatever needs she can’t handle herself.
The Interrupter: She wasn’t asked to be part of the wedding. She really shouldn’t be hunting down the bride before the wedding. But she is anyway. The interrupter doesn’t know why she isn’t in the wedding, but she’s still determined to be in every photo. Tip: Get the Fem Groomsman to earn his keep by doubling as a human shield.
The Anti-Bride’s Maid: This girl does not do weddings. She won’t wear a dress, she hates make up and she has no idea why she is there. And no one else can tell her either!
Congratulations Carm & Chris! We wish you nothing but the best. Brian and I are so happy for the love you share and the joy you add to our lives!
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